Well...
I was going to write something. Trying to catch up with my thoughts about summer. But I'm hungry.
I think I'll go eat breakfast instead...
Catch ya later, alligator!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
Here and Now
A few years ago, we were attending church faithfully. The pastor invited me to study more closely with him, in weekly sessions.
We met in his nice conference room, green walled with a big window and blond oval table. "I want to know more about Marie," he explained with a warm smile. "I'm curious. What do you think about all day?"
My answer was blunt. "Surviving. I think about surviving."
The harsh truth of that surprised even me. I hadn't realized before that moment just how much energy I devoted each day merely to making the day work, to making it through safely, to keeping my life as I knew it continuing.
Now years later, I realize something new. I am no longer surviving. No longer do I spend time or energy on just getting by. Over the years, protective habits and philosophies have become so ingrained that they are automatic, operating smoothly to keep life humming along.
Instead of just surviving, I am thriving.
Instead of anxiety, I feel joy, contentment, ambition, desire. I celebrate my past and I look forward to my future.
Wow. What a good feeling!
We met in his nice conference room, green walled with a big window and blond oval table. "I want to know more about Marie," he explained with a warm smile. "I'm curious. What do you think about all day?"
My answer was blunt. "Surviving. I think about surviving."
The harsh truth of that surprised even me. I hadn't realized before that moment just how much energy I devoted each day merely to making the day work, to making it through safely, to keeping my life as I knew it continuing.
Now years later, I realize something new. I am no longer surviving. No longer do I spend time or energy on just getting by. Over the years, protective habits and philosophies have become so ingrained that they are automatic, operating smoothly to keep life humming along.
Instead of just surviving, I am thriving.
Instead of anxiety, I feel joy, contentment, ambition, desire. I celebrate my past and I look forward to my future.
Wow. What a good feeling!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Crafting
I may not be writing much, but I have been sitting at my keyboard for hours, trying.
I try to put the words together well. Some thoughts flash through my mind. I become certain, that somewhere, at a different computer, Susan Straight sits writing. I imagine her prose with a flush of admiring envy. I imagine what she would say of mine and cringe inwardly. Unacceptable. Clumsy. Dull.
Sigh. I'm sure that whatever she is writing right now is much more interesting. Fiction, with conflict and character. Or a first person essay. Filled with voice and telling detail from her life, carefully plucked like red fruit from a backyard tree.
I could be wrong of course. She might be working away on something utterly pedestrian. A course syllabus or a dull departmental memo. A convoluted academic article.
But I like to think that, somewhere in Riverside, SS is typing away. If she can do it, I can too. maybe I can even write something I would be willing to show her.
I try to put the words together well. Some thoughts flash through my mind. I become certain, that somewhere, at a different computer, Susan Straight sits writing. I imagine her prose with a flush of admiring envy. I imagine what she would say of mine and cringe inwardly. Unacceptable. Clumsy. Dull.
Sigh. I'm sure that whatever she is writing right now is much more interesting. Fiction, with conflict and character. Or a first person essay. Filled with voice and telling detail from her life, carefully plucked like red fruit from a backyard tree.
I could be wrong of course. She might be working away on something utterly pedestrian. A course syllabus or a dull departmental memo. A convoluted academic article.
But I like to think that, somewhere in Riverside, SS is typing away. If she can do it, I can too. maybe I can even write something I would be willing to show her.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
The Heat from the Keys Melts into My Hands
We are in Palm Springs on vacation.
Boy, is it hot.
I am using this return to a familiar hotel to duck out of the vacation for a bit. Instead, I have sought refuge in the dark, slightly cooler lobby. I perch in a red velvet chair, surrounded by mirrors and bits of glittering crystal, and tap out a bit of income while the family swims in the sun.
The trip, while warm, has been a success. A birthday celebrated. A summer taken mid-swing.
And I, I return to some discipline and respect for my gift of words.
Boy, is it hot.
I am using this return to a familiar hotel to duck out of the vacation for a bit. Instead, I have sought refuge in the dark, slightly cooler lobby. I perch in a red velvet chair, surrounded by mirrors and bits of glittering crystal, and tap out a bit of income while the family swims in the sun.
The trip, while warm, has been a success. A birthday celebrated. A summer taken mid-swing.
And I, I return to some discipline and respect for my gift of words.
Everything
Everything
All of my past
And all of my moments
Rolled into a glowing
Round of Hope and seeking
Are a part of me
Even that little bit of restlessness
Even that little bit of Impatience
Even that dollop of Joy
Are a part of the stuff of
Stars
That makes me
Who I am
Today
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
What to Do after Your Email is Hacked
So, recently my email account got "borrowed" to send all my contacts weird links. What a hassle, huh? After I let my colleagues know about this, and that I had fixed it, I got an email from a sweet, older man. He said the same thing had happened to him, but he had no idea what to do. He wondered if I could tell him what I did.
After I emailed him back, I thought that this information might be useful to others as well. Thus I'll post it here, and hope that your own security is quickly restored.
I noticed my account was wrong when I had 18 emails telling me that MailerDaemon failed to deliver. Deliver emails I never sent. What the what? Oh uh.
The first thing I did is go to Google and type My Yahoo Mail got Hacked into its search bar. Then I read a variety of the question/answers and articles I found describing what to do in this situation.
Next, I went back to my email and accessed Account Info found under the Hi,Yourname sign in icon. Under Account Info, I selected Contact Info and checked to make sure that no one had added an unauthorized phone number or email contact that they could use to monitor my account activity. They hadn't so that reassured me. If they had, I would have deleted those.
I also searched under Choose How Yahoo Contacts You and made sure that none of my contact info had been changed.
Under Sign In and Security, I clicked View Your Recent Sign In Activity. There I could see lots of California browser access hits from me, and two from India. So I knew the time and day they had accessed my account which was about five minutes before emails started going out from it. Now I'm checking that about twice per day to make sure that there is no more unauthorized access from odd places, which there has not been.
That makes me feel like they got in, sent emails, got blocked by Yahoo, and moved on. I noticed that Yahoo had increased security measures on my account, making me enter captchas for each email I wanted to send right after the hacking. So I felt like Yahoo had also noticed the spamming and restricted access.
I mentally reviewed all the data I have ever sent from this account. None of it included SS numbers or credit card/banking info, so I wasn't too worried about them accessing that. I also have different passwords for all of my other online activity so even if they had my password they couldn't get into any other accounts.
I noticed that India accessed my account through a Yahoo Partner Application. I'm not even sure what that is, probably Yahoo calendar or instant messaging, etc. Since I only use my account as boring old email and I mostly use a laptop, never a smartphone, I didn't need access to anything else. So I went into Manage App & Website Connections. I deleted the connections for Yahoo Partner Applications and Mobile Devices. I hope that stopped the hole right there.
Finally, I changed my current password to an even stronger one made up of random words that make sense to me with numbers and capitals interspersed. So far, it seems to have solved the problem and my account is working fine.
And below is a link that I promise is NOT spam that will take you to a funny but very useful math web-comic strip that shows how computers hack passwords and how to make a very strong but easy to remember one.
I hope this helps you too! :)
Best,
Marie
Monday, June 17, 2013
Timing is Everything
This is a very interesting development by the Universe.
No sooner did I decide that I wanted to teach again, and that I would start pursuing paths to find my way back to this occupation, then two exciting things happened.
One - a large sum of money unexpectedly came my way. I think we will be able to buy that larger, newer car we so badly need.
Two - my email got hacked. While I was innocently eating my picnic sandwiches yesterday, someone in India was sending out emails in my name. But why do I say that is an "exciting" thing??
Well, first, I think I solved the problem. It looks like a one time "borrowing" of my contacts, so I'm not too worried about the issue with my email persisting. But it's exciting because it has put my name back out there for everybody I have ever known or emailed. Talk about your forced networking. All of my friends and all of my business contacts are thinking about me now, at least a little bit.
And, it put all of those people back into my mind too. So, friends and contacts who I haven't been in touch with for a long, long while are suddenly back on my radar. My follow up emails give me an opportunity to renew bonds and check in with their lives. That can't hurt anything.
So I guess good or bad is all how you see it.
It is a very familiar experience for me to decide that I will pursue a course of action, and then find energy, people, or money helpful to that goal entering my life shortly after. I guess everything is connected after all! :)
No sooner did I decide that I wanted to teach again, and that I would start pursuing paths to find my way back to this occupation, then two exciting things happened.
One - a large sum of money unexpectedly came my way. I think we will be able to buy that larger, newer car we so badly need.
Two - my email got hacked. While I was innocently eating my picnic sandwiches yesterday, someone in India was sending out emails in my name. But why do I say that is an "exciting" thing??
Well, first, I think I solved the problem. It looks like a one time "borrowing" of my contacts, so I'm not too worried about the issue with my email persisting. But it's exciting because it has put my name back out there for everybody I have ever known or emailed. Talk about your forced networking. All of my friends and all of my business contacts are thinking about me now, at least a little bit.
And, it put all of those people back into my mind too. So, friends and contacts who I haven't been in touch with for a long, long while are suddenly back on my radar. My follow up emails give me an opportunity to renew bonds and check in with their lives. That can't hurt anything.
So I guess good or bad is all how you see it.
It is a very familiar experience for me to decide that I will pursue a course of action, and then find energy, people, or money helpful to that goal entering my life shortly after. I guess everything is connected after all! :)
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