Certainty

There is a wave lately
Of Good Energy
Building

Can you feel it?

The possibility of connection
Stability
Hope
Peace
The Dawn of Enough
Of Good things
That can last a lifetime

And maybe
Even
Beyond...


************
Things have been going really well for me lately. This month of August, this busyness which I enjoy, this mindful giving -- they have all been part of an upswing for me, my family, and my friends.

I know I'm a bit behind in my documentation but I have continued to give each day and I'll get those posts up here soon. I'm halfway through my 29 days of giving, and I plan to reflect on that as well. 

I was walking the labyrinth a few mornings ago. The sun was rising, the birds were singing, the promise of the day's coming heat was just beginning to hang in the air. Suddenly, I realized that I was really and truly happy. A great wave of joy and contentment flooded through me. I actually have everything I want, and everything I could ever want. It's all here in my life today, or it's coming, or it's possible. It feels so good to be happy after so many other days of struggle and suffering. It's such a relief to realize that I am no longer in any of those difficult places.I still have some goals of course, some things I'd like to see come to fruition. It gives me great hope that the future will be even better.

My Work Process

Okay, this is it. I'm totally buckling down now. All this text is written so I just need to paste it all into the application and I can check another one. If I do it quick, I can get it all in there in just a few minutes. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll whip out the app and then we'll have dinner. Yeah, like a deadline.

Let me just, log in. Okay, so far so good. Aagh, it's loading. La la la... boring wait. I know, let me just check out that Jenna Marbles I've heard so much about, my daughters love her. (pause) Oh my God! Bad language alert! Remind me not to let them watch THAT any more.

Okay, I'm in. Here's the stupid answers to your dorky "eligibility" quiz. Duh. Here's the email, the password. Okay. What? Why are there two blank applications in our file? Ack. Did I accidentally set up two applications? Well, they're both blank. I'll just delete one.

Click.

Really? I have to review it and confirm delete? Look, it's BLANK. Okay, Delete.

God. Yes, Yes. I understand that it will PERMANENTLY delete this application. Yes, I am sure. Click. CLICK! Ack, more waiting. Like it's even really deleting it anyway. I know it's still out there somewhere, floating around, encoded in electronic permanence. Okay, that's it. I'm switching back to my BLOG...

Seriously. So Distractable.

I mean I'm just trying to log into my work email, because I need the link to the foundation page I need to upload this text onto, and next thing I know I'm like, WHAT? the Loch Ness Monster?! A real photo! Finally. Well, I HAVE to see that, don't I?

Arrggh. At least it wasn't video.

OMG Yahoo why do you hate me?

You know who's not my friend? Yahoo. With their stupid teaser headlines, their ridiculous articles that are almost never pertinent to my life, and their distracting photos, they just want to lure me away from my work. I have no time to sit at this computer if I'm not producing something of quality -- or at least enjoying myself. Yahoo's junk is the equivalent of eating Ding Dongs -- sort of bitter, completely artificial, and absolutely unsatisfying but almost impossible to resist! And the videos are the worst!! I hate the videos. Seconds of my life gone to pointless loading, then the useless ad, the overloud, over-cheery delivery. Yuck.

I really, really try to resist, but it's hard when it's right there in front of my face day in and day out.

Can I Just Say...

I admire anyone who doesn't have an external schedule, yet still manages to get work done on a regular basis. That is not my strength. I do so much better with some structure to base my days around.

Even then, I am often undermined by lack of motivation. True story - today, my pedicure took way too long so it cut into a big chunk of my slated work time. Then by the time I got home, I was so tired I had to take a nap. I am barely getting going right now!

Alas...

Subtle

Somewhere... between here and there
I shifted
I changed and grew
The kinks worked out
The clogs released
And warmth flowed out
Into the Universe
Around me

Somewhere... at some point...
Or maybe at many
Along the way
Between there and Here

I released old grievances
I healed old wounds
Love flowed in
I could write. I could work.
I could be

Happy

Cleaning Out - Day 13

I didn't really clean anything yesterday. At least nothing out of the ordinary that I remember right now. What I did do is plan ahead for a good future. I put at least an hour into researching a place to rent for our family vacation, emailing the owner, printing out the contract, and signing it and writing the check and getting it sent away so that we are all set.

Now we will have a fabulous home for three days and our autumn journey up the coast will continue unimpeded!