My First Time as a Yoga Teacher

My Yoga teacher training program could not be going better. I love the other students; I love what we're learning. Our assignment last month was to write the plan for a beginner level class. I included it below in case you're interested. If you feel like a beginner, you could certainly try some of these poses to open your back and legs where we all get tight from sitting.

What made this so fun is that I actually taught my plan to my parents. I've decided to just bite the bullet and start out by teaching them every week. While beginners sound like they would be easy, they're actually pretty tough to teach. They tend to be more disassociated from their bodies. They don't know the poses and may have trouble following directions. They often have physical ailments that require adaptation so they don't get hurt. Whew.

In contrast, the other teachers in my program are a breeze to teach. They're fit, they're flexible, they know their stuff and they know their limits.

Still though I had a great time with my parents. I hope the our weekly sessions will be helpful for their fitness and my learning!!

*****

Beginner’s Yoga Class - Taught on Friday, April 10, 2009

I. Underlying Awareness
A. Physical
1. Opening Posture: Seated
2. Physical Sequence: Seated, Standing, Back, Seated

B. Levels of Being
1. Physical – Focus on tight hamstrings and lower back
2. Emotional – Relaxing and letting go into poses, Easing away from pushing too hard, Acceptance of self
3. Mind – turning inward to pay attention, focus on breath
4. Spirit – (some) Attention to play of energy, begin and end with OM

C. Energetic Structuring – Sensitizing

II. Sequence of Poses
(Physical instructions are in normal font; prompts to move into other levels of being are in italics. Comments in brackets show modifications I made during actual instruction of 2 beginners. I taught this class to my parents. My mom is pretty flexible. My dad has major issues with his back, posture, and spine.)

1. Sukhasana (Easy Pose) and OM
- (Greetings and welcome). Let’s start in Sukhasana. Come to an easy seated pose on your mat or blanket. Let your legs cross, your feet a bit flexed. Align your feet below your shins and settle down into your sitting bones. Feel your spine elongate and your shoulders relax away from your ears. Breathe.
[I had to set my dad up on 3 blankets to help his lower back.]

- Let’s do three Om’s together.
- With an exhale, let your chin drop down to your chest. Inhale and lift the face looking forward. (Repeat).
- Let’s loosen up our shoulders. Bring your elbows close to your ribs, forearms parallel to the ground. [Here my dad complained that he was in pain. We moved him up into a chair where he could relax and started over.] Feel your chest relax and open, and your shoulders relax away from your ears. With an inhale, use your shoulders to draw your arms forward and up to your ears. With your exhale, draw your elbows to the back of the room and then back against your opened ribs. (Continue these circles with breath, then reverse.)

2. Parsva Sukhasana – Seated Twist
- Let’s do a nice twist, giving our internal organs a gentle massage. Anchor your sitting bones back to your mat. [or chair. Dad stayed in his chair.] With an exhale, rotate your belly to the left, without lifting your sitting bones. Drop your right hand to your left knee, and let your left hand drop behind your back to the floor. Use the tips of your fingers to draw your belly around to the left as you relax. Now, open your chest and let your shoulders relax back and down away from your ears. Breathe. Feel your spine twisting and lengthening. The crown of your head moves toward the ceiling floating right over your tailbone in one long line. Feel how the breath moves your body, filling you like a balloon. On the inhale, you expand in all directions. On the exhale, you relax a little deeper into the twist. You don’t have to push or struggle. Let the inhale make some space and let the exhale take you into that new space, very gently. Exhale and relax back to front.
(Repeat on other side. Then do each side again.)

3. Cat/Cow
- Come to all fours. Kneel with knees below hips, hands and wrists below shoulders like a nice stable table. On an Inhale, look forward and up. Lift your face with the breath. Let your belly relax and drop toward the floor, filling with air. Lift your tailbone high toward the ceiling.
- Now exhale and reverse the position of the spine. Tuck your face under, chin to chest and curl your tailbone under as you arch your spine just like a frightened cat. (Repeat).
- Really feel the flow of breath. Let the inhale carry your face and heart, the exhale lift your spine up. Feel that wonderful balloon of your body filling and releasing. Don’t worry too much about moving your external body. Instead just feel that sense of internal motion, and that flow of energy.

5. Child’s Pose
-Okay, let’s ease back into Child’s Pose. Keeping your hands where they are, push back and push your buttocks towards your heels. Let your shins and feet be relaxed against the mat. Relax your spine and let your heart drop toward the mat, your face drop toward the mat. [I tucked blankets below Mom and Dad’s knees and had Dad lean forward onto his forearms folded on the seat of his chair. After a few moments, he moved the chair and did this pose with hands on the ground.]
-Just breathe and relax. Feel the breath move.

[My original plan called for Triangle and Warrior I here. This is when I made a major teaching modification and decided to just focus on good, balanced standing. Otherwise, it was going to be too much for one hour. Lunge and Downward-facing Dog also got cut. In different lessons, we can focus on adapting these poses.]

6. Tadasana
-Bring yourself to standing. Align in Mountain Pose. Bring your feet as close together as you can. [Dad explained that Christie told him to keep his feet apart. I confirmed that then he was getting a better leg rotation and freeing his back. “Perfect,” I said, “do it just like Christie told you.”] Feel your soles spread apart, your toes wide and anchor yourself against the mat. Let your heels ground down and the bones of your legs lift you tall as they push against the backs of your legs. Firm your knees. Rotate your inner thighs inward and toward the rear of the room. Feel that wonderful space across your lower back. Now activate your belly to lift and open your ribs. Your heart opens. Your shoulders drop down from your ears.
Feel the balance and extension from your feet to the crown of your head.
[For some reason, Dad was pushing his hands out behind his back, tensing his shoulders and chest like a Locust pose. “Just let your hands drop to your sides,” I said. He dropped them a bit further back. “Are those your sides?” I asked. I showed him where his hands were and then modeled hanging mine by my sides. We had to practice it a few times before he could sort of feel it. “Do you feel that tension when you push your arms back?” I asked. “No,” he said. He dropped his hands and shoulders. “Great!” I commented. “That’s relaxed. How does that feel?” “It doesn’t feel like anything,” he said, perplexed. “Okay,” I said, “When you don’t feel it, then you’re relaxed. Let yourself be relaxed.” I gave Mom a little physical adjustment on her shoulders to enhance her feeling of that after waiting through this.]

7. Samasthiti
-Keep all that extension and bring your hands together, palms gently touching and press them right into the heart. Breathe.

8. Uttanasana – Hanging Forward Bend
- Breathe and center yourself above your feet. Let yourself pour forward with an exhale, melting down toward the floor. Keep your knees bent and your hands dropped down toward the floor. Feel the energy pouring from your sacrum, down your inverted spine. [I had Dad lean forward onto his chair, and keep his knees strongly bent because of his tight hamstrings. His spinal issues are very accentuated in this pose. Mom could go all the way to the ground. I just prompted her not to hyperextend her knees.]
-Your head is heavy, your face relaxed, your neck is loose and relaxed. Warm energy like golden honey drips from the back of your head onto the floor. Breathe. Feel the expansion of the inhale and the lengthening of the exhale as you become softer and more relaxed. (Hold and breathe.)

9. Samasthiti
-Roll yourself up slowly and come back to Samasthiti – Standing Prayer Pose. Rebalance.

10. Knees to Chest Pose
Come lying comfortably on your back. Lie for a moment in Corpse Pose, just relaxing. How are you feeling? [Dad can’t lie comfortably on his back, the curve of his spine is too strong. So I was tucking a blanket beneath his head and his tailbone. While I was doing this, Mom looked at us and said, “Look at his chin. His chin is up too much.” I had noticed that but was planning to gently correct it. The teacher part of me came out. I said, “Mom, you just have to be on your OWN mat. This is your chance to be with yourself. Yoga is about union, the union of mind and body. Don’t worry about him, just enjoy your union. You know people practice yoga to bring themselves into union with four big things – union with energy; union with conscious mind, that mind-body connection; union with NOW, the present moment; or union with the Divine, which people call by all kinds of names. What is YOUR yoga practice about? What do you feel union with? Think about that for just a few moments while you stay in Corpse Pose.” This pose was letting their chest and back muscles relax and open to the floor, especially Dad.]

11. Knees to Chest Pose
- Now bend up your knees and pull them gently toward your chest. Relax your neck and shoulders and breathe. On the Inhale, fill with air. On the Exhale, pull them a bit closer.
- Good. Now on the Exhale, engage your abdominal muscles and lift your face towards your knees. Squeeze up into a little ball. Inhale and relax. Exhale and do it again.

12. Setu Bandhasana- Bridge
- Now let’s do a Bridge Pose. Drop your feet back to the mat, hip width apart. Bring your hands, palms down alongside your body. Now on your inhale, lift your hips up in the air and on the exhale lower them down. (Repeat for several breaths.)
- Now let’s support that. Lift your hips as high as you can and I’ll slip a block beneath your tailbone. [Dad had the lowest block setting, Mom’s was middle.] Hold for five breaths. Feel the breath, feel the opening.

13. Knees to Chest Pose
Okay, slip out that block and come back to knees to chest pose. This is a counter pose so feel how this is different from what we just did.

14. Wiggles
Okay, lift your legs straight up into the air. Spend some time pointing and flexing your feet. How far apart can you spread your toes. Rotate your ankles around in gentle circles. Now, lift your arms straight up from your shoulders. Wiggle your legs and arms. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Now just your legs. Now just your arms. Wiggling.

15. Hamstrings
Okay, bring your feet back to the ground, knees bent. Mom, make a circle of your fingers and thumb on your left hand. Catch hold of your left big toe and slowly straighten that leg, stretching your hamstring. Breathe.
Dad, lift your leg toward the ceiling. Relax your back, shoulders, and neck. Now, I’ll stand right behind your leg and push into me. Breathe.
(Repeat on other side)
[I had Dad rest in Corpse Pose while I gave Mom the physical adjustment of pushing each leg into me.]

16. Knees to Chest
Repeat. How do your legs feel? Are they different from before?

17. Dandasana – Staff Pose
- Next we’ll do Staff Pose. Come rolling onto your right side. Now use your hands to walk yourself up to sitting. [Dad did the weirdest thing here where he pushed with his hands and then torqued across his back to rotate forward while he was still reclined. “Okay, hold on. That wasn’t good.” I said. “Dad, watch. Use your hands. Your HANDS. These are hands. Watch me. Push with your hands and arms. Don’t make your back do that work. Okay, let’s try that again. Lay down.” He still twisted halfway up. So I got up and stood behind him with my leg braced against his back so that he couldn’t move out of the sideways plane. That forced him to feel his arms pushing him up. After two more repetitions, he had it.]

- Okay. Sit on your blanket. Let your legs come straight out in front of you, flowing in one long line away from the pelvis. Feel your sitting bones firmly on the floor. Now flex your feet and activate your knees. Legs turn slightly in toward each other as you feel your thigh muscles engage. Push slightly more through the inner edges of the feet as if you were standing on them. Bring your hands slightly behind you. [Like me, my mom has short arms compared to her torso. I put a folded blanket on each side of her for her to push into.] Push down with your fingertips as you roll your shoulder blades back and together across your back, opening up the chest. Inhale and your heart lifts. Exhale and feel the energy. Inhale, heart lifts. (Hold for a few breaths.)
- Relax your hands, but hold that upright structure. Keeping the straightness in your spine, let your hands come onto your thighs. Gently use your hands to pull yourself forward in one long, straight line of energy. Crown of head moves towards the front wall. Inhale and lengthen, Exhale and feel slight movement forward. (Hold for breaths.)
- Let yourself really feel the pose. Pay attention to how you feel. Are you pushing? Is it uncomfortable? What do you do with discomfort? (Pause) Let yourself edge back from the discomfort and simply be here in the pose.
-Now relax all of that forward. Let yourself melt, arms to the ground, head toward knees or feet, spine curved and relaxed. No pushing, no effort. Just melting with the breath.
[What I noticed here is that Dad was able to sit on his sit bones and extend his legs with them almost to the floor. At the start of class, that was painful for him.]

18. Baddha Konasana – Butterfly
-Bring the soles of your feet together and sit upright. Open your chest and breathe. Slowly tip yourself forward, keeping that extension. Dad, you’re not going to move a lot but just feel that extension. Mom, try this. Bring your thumbs into the soles of your feet and open your feet like a book. Feel your pelvis relax. [I gave both of them a little adjustment of shoulders back and chest pushing forward.]

19. Savasana – Corpse Pose
- Come lying flat on your back. Let your legs fall apart and your arms be flat on the mat, palms up. There’s space in your armpits and your hands are open and relaxed. Feel your shoulders roll down and into the mat. Feel your thighs relax. Your belly lift with breaths. Your heart is open, your throat is calm. Your face melts back against your skull, tension-free. There’s space between your teeth and the roof of your mouth expands and relaxes as you lie here and breathe.
-Again, think about all the ways to have union through yoga. What are you feeling union with?

[Here’s the funny end of this class. I put the soundtrack from the movie Across the Universe on to play that song, very nice and relaxing. Then my neighbor knocked on the door. I stepped outside to answer his question. When I stepped back in the CD had advanced to the next track – Helter Skelter! So much for a nice relaxing atmosphere!! Ah, the things you learn by teaching!]

20. Closing
- Bring yourself into your body. Roll to the right and support yourself up to sitting like we practiced. Sit cross-legged with your hands on your knees or in prayer position and we’ll end with three OMs.

“May we be healed.

May we be a source of healing to all beings.

May we awaken to the light of our true natures.

Namaste.”

Breathe In, Breathe Out

*** If nothing else, our initial experience of meditation usually teaches us one thing: it is difficult to sit still and do nothing. In fact, we often get confused just trying to imagine how we ought to approach such a thing. For this reason, it is best to begin each session of meditation by counting the breath. Breath counting calms and clarifies the mind. It is the perfect vessel in which to cross the stormy seas that rage inside our minds and bodies in the midst of a busy day. After a few minutes of focusing ourselves in this way, we find it less difficult to concentrate. The body and mind are brought together under one common enterprise.

Thus it becomes easier just to be where we are (p24). ***

from The Wooden Bowl - simple meditation for everyday life by Clark Strand

Family Yoga

My family sometimes does yoga together. Last weekend we bustled to our favorite studio for a family class. The owner asked us to pose for an ad, and I thought you'd like to see us in action.

Short Fiction and the Joy of Writing

Good morning! Between grants and a family on vacation, rattling around in the house and waiting for me to join them, I continue to have very little time to devote here. I am quite proud to report that over the last week I finished three, yes THREE, CDBG grants, and all well ahead of deadline too. The lack of sleep was totally worth it!

In addition to the lovely discovery of A Small Stone blog this weekend, it led me to Your Messages. This blog gives a prompt, and writers create and post very short, either 30 or 300 word, continuations. Here we have Nanowrimo in November; in Britian, they have Your Messages each day for the month. Not only are they good practice and amusing, but the site will link you into many working writers throughout the UK. Check out Fiona Robyn’s blogs for an excellent example of building a writing platform plus just gorgeous poetic work.

I’ve never given you fiction here, so below you’ll find a piece I wrote in August 2007. It clocks in at exactly 200 words. Looking at it now, I would revise it to include dialogue. See what you think.

The Purple Shade of Loss

Driving westbound on the 10 Freeway, she notices the flowering bushes planted along the sides, and perceives the purple shade of loss. He is gone now, and she feels strangely empty even though it was her choice. The color of the waving blossoms is the same as the bruises which he left around her arms, where he had gripped on to her in desperation and emphasis. First purple, then green, then yellow, they had faded over the week. But the words he had yelled and the angry tone of his voice hadn’t.

Now she was driving, away from him, and towards a new city, and a new life with a reliable friend. The vibrant purple seemed to mock her, stung her eyes with tears. But there was something else as well. The delicate blossoms, their vivacious hue, spoke of beauty, endurance. Hope.

As she made the 10-215 transition, her car lifted high into the sky on the massive overpass. Caught up in the sensation, she felt that she had been lifted up above the world. She felt like her car, and she, could escape gravity, break through the railings, and soar.

She felt like a bird -- hopeful, and free.

Cause in My Head, There's a Greyhound Station...

Verse for Sunday - Psalm 143:10

"Teach me to do your will,

for you are my God.

Let your good spirit lead me

on a level path."

Song Lyrics for Saturday - Soul Meets Body

Soul Meets Body - Death Cab For Cutie

I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what its like to be new

Cause in my head there's a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where they're far more suited than here

I cannot guess what we'll discover
Between the dirt with our palms cut like shovels
But I know our filthy hand can wash one another's
And not one speck will remain

I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too

So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body

I do believe it's true
That there are holes left in both of our shoes
If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too

So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Yoga Focus on Monday

During the past week, I've been noticing my waist.

Specifically, I've become aware that I tend to be slumpy in my sides. Like most of us who spend hours seated and bent towards a computer, I tend to collapse a bit forward.

In almost every asana, beautiful extension appears when I remember to create that open space all along my ribcage and between ribs and pelvis.

Especially in my beloved Trikoasana (Triangle pose), I catch myself crunching into my lower side. Much too droopy. So this week, I'm all about giving myself some length and strength, moment by moment.

Whirlwind of Beliefs

It’s Monday morning and I have a headache.

My weekend was even more full and complex than normal. Friday evening, I played Bunco in Rialto. The team is a part of the small-group ministry of the large Evangelical Christian church that all the women but I attend. The dice clatter, we tally points, and I worry about the state of my soul as perceived by my fellow players.

Saturday night found me touring Whaley House in Old Town San Diego. First, we piled into the wooden courtroom to hear stories of resident supernatural happenings. My daughters love that it’s supposed to be haunted and always beg to go there. They are completely unafraid of ghosts and the supernatural.

My friend and her son accompanied us. He’s seen a fair amount of movies that I consider totally inappropriate for even me to see. Consequently, he became so scared that he planted his feet and refused to go upstairs with us.

Even the story about the dog ghost freaked him out. I mean, come on, it’s the ghost of a little black terrier that wants to lick kids’ legs. That’s just sweet.

The docent told us that some visitors feel the presence of a ghost who was hung on the spot as a pressing on their throat and chest. Honestly, I felt that quite strongly as I came down stairs and for about 10 minutes after leaving the house. But I’m going to chalk that up to suggestibility and heightened physical sensitivity from my yoga practice. I mean, if you tell me to feel my back, I feel my back. If you tell me to be aware of my throat, I perceive my throat. I probably just engaged some muscle tension, even julandharabandha, unconsciously.

Probably.

Yesterday, I visited Indian cultures. I spent all day sitting on my mat on the floor of a dim shala listening to my charismatic teacher explain yoga philosophy. Sanskrit, pre-Hindu beliefs, and chanting challenge Western mindsets.

At lunch, I captivated a man walking his dog in the park when he realized that I was reading Tarot cards on the grass below the breezy trees. If I’d had more time, I would have offered him a reading as he was clearly fascinated. Not that I really know how to read cards. As I told him, I’m just playing. I just wanted a break from the yoga.

Last night, I covered myself with a scarf and went to dinner at my good friend’s house. She’s Muslim, from Bangladesh, and there are complex social interaction codes from both cultures. I get exempted from most of them because of my American status. Still, I can tell her friends are uncomfortable because I’m the only white one, the only one who doesn’t speak Bangla, the only Christian. That T and I have formed such a close friendship is unusual in their tight social group.

My jeans stood out among their gorgeous jeweled saris. Next weekend, we’re attending their Eid Festival. Again, our family will be the only white folks there. I could borrow a sari from T. But it won’t change who I am.

Which is?

Sometimes Props are Called For

After publishing my little diatribe yesterday, where I insisted that props are not for me, I attended two yoga classes - and both used props.

And used them well.

In the first class, we did half-moon pose with and without a block for stability. I like the pose both ways, but, honestly, I prefer it with the block. My flow of energy from head to extended foot is better when I am parallel to the ground.

A gifted Iyengar teacher runs the second class. We spent 10 minutes fussing around with attaching straps to each upper thigh. Then we spent at least 40 minutes using those straps as handles to pull our thighs and femurs around toward each other to align in Tadasana. By standing on a third strap and pulling against it with our hands, we also focused on moving the shoulder blades well down the back while lifting the chest and abdomen.

Lovely alignment. Strenuous working. Over and over and over.

I feel the results today.

One thing I really appreciate about the Iyengar-style is the attention to detail. It's like the Japanese Haiku form of yoga. You may not do many poses, but you pay attention to the alignment of each muscle and bone in the few you do during class.

And, yes, the props are essential.

It's good to be flexible in both our bodies - and our opinions.




*******
**The lovely illustration above is actually a greeting card sold by Siamese Dreams. I came across their line of gorgeous yoga inspired cards while searching for graphics. You can find them at their website www. siamese-dreams.com or by calling 1-888-243-6816. This text accompanied the card:

HALF MOON POSE (ARDHA CHANDRASANA)
Chandra is the golden moon god also known as Soma. This Soma is the elixir of immortality drunk by the gods. The posture of adha chandrasana (half moon pose) celebrates the waxing and waning of the moon and the cyclic nature of life. In this image of a woman practicing beneath the moon we remember the powerful unconscious forces that the moon energy symbolizes. She gains strength from the moon as she balances upon one leg. Her arms help guide her as she moves sideways. Through the line of both arms she links earth to sky and basks in the warm glow of the full moon.

Stubborn

I am so stubborn. Sometimes this is a good trait. I have reaped rewards during my life simply through my sheerly obstinate ability to hang on to something going against me until it shifts to being my way. Other times, my hard-headedness works against me.

During yoga, I always want to do everything myself, without any props. I’m not sure why. I suppose I feel like there is something more natural about yoga with just my own body. Props feel like taking a shortcut.

There’s no good reason why I would feel this. I certainly have experienced lovely and helpful alterations to poses through the judicious use of props. Bolsters do support my knees and relax my back. That yoga block does let me reach more assuredly in Trikasana without crimping into my ribs. In addition, there are quite a few hands-behind-my-back poses that I can’t do without a strap. At least, not do well.

I don’t look down on anybody else for using props.

Perhaps I am afraid that if I get used to them, they may not be there when I need them. My own body will always be with me.

All I know is that when the teacher tells us, “You can get a bolster to make you more comfortable,” I never go and get one.

I just want to get on with the pose with my own limbs, my mat, and the floor.

Because I’m stubborn.

(Written 1-15-08)

Yoga for the Face

A friend was recently complaining about feeling stressed. So stressed in fact that she grinds her teeth at night. Yikes!

This made me wonder. Which yoga poses might be good for relieving facial tension? I thought of Urdhva Mukha Svanasana (upward dog), Bujangasana (Cobra), and even Tadasana (Mountain) because of the self-awareness it helps activate.

Many of my readers are talented and experienced yogis. Can you think of other asanas that I might recommend to my friend?

The Force that Through the Green Fuse Drives the Flower

Originally posted 9-14-8 on Bliss

In shoulder stand yesterday, I focused on my femurs. As my legs became long wands of golden light, lifting energy to the ceiling, I rotated the femurs inward toward each other. This automatically aligned my pelvis and spine and strengthened my torso. It’s incredible to feel that extra lift and extension, effortless like a growing vine.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Originally posted at Bliss on 9-13-08

I always check out the Tablescaping at the LA County Fair. For this exhibit, people decorate a table for a meal while following a theme. Then the judges tear them apart for putting spoons in the wrong place or for having a flower arrangement that doesn’t match the scope of the settings.

One theme this year was Breakfast At Tiffany’s. One of the tables received a perfect score – 100 points out of 100 points. The judges actually admitted that the placement of the settings was flawless – a first for me. In all my years of attendance, I never remember a perfect score.

It was a breathtakingly lovely table. Tiffany blue cloth with white satin trim showed off an array of sparkling silver and “diamond” jewelry. The dishes gleamed, pink roses added a burst of contrast, and a lace- and flower-bedecked poster of Audrey Hepburn presided coolly over it all.

I’ve always liked Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Despite the shockingly racist portrayal of the landlord and the overwrought reliance on Moon River, it’s a beautiful movie, simultaneously light and heartbreaking. The story of the struggling writer and the struggling woman who find each other but still struggle appeals to me as both a writer and a woman.

The reverence with which Holly embraces Tiffany’s as a symbol of hope and comfort is coded in our cultural iconography to the point that even a non-bling girl like me feels a little thrill at the thought of those priceless baubles.

So if you’re in need of a little reassurance that it will all turn out okay, check out the table at the LA Fair. It was perfect – proof that it can be achieved! Or pay a visit to Tiffany & Co yourself. There’s one in Pasadena. You can grab a delicious cupcake from Dot’s Cupcakes down the street and eat it with class and verve while you eye the goods on display.

Or, do what I’ll do this weekend. Pull out your DVD and hum along with Henry Mancini while you create your own escapist dream.

Movie Trailer

Procrastination and Perseverance

Today I had one of those errands.

Did you ever have one of those? One of those errands, one of those tasks, one of those appointments that you had to keep but you just really, truly, absolutely, sincerely did not want to?

I’m not talking about the sort of task that awakens normal levels of procrastination, like completing a writing assignment or cleaning the house. I mean the kind of obligation that activates deep and powerful emotions. Fear, dread, anxiety, uncertainty, terror. That kind of stuff.

An obligation like visiting a loved one in the hospital when you know they’re dying but you can’t bear to face the loss. A task like selling the house you grew up in. An errand like making that first appointment with the attorney. (And, no dear readers, these didn’t happen to me. They’re just examples)

On the scale of how much I did not want to face this today, my obligation ranked higher than having a root canal and lower than fleeing my war-torn country for refuge.

It was that kind of task.

But, you know what? I did it. I got through it. Sure, there was a long period of denial this morning while I pointlessly surfed the net. There was crying after. And, in between, there was me being strong. There was positive self- talk, and lots of love and compassion, and an I-can-do-it attitude.

So I did. How about you? Did you ever have one of those?

The Future of Newspapers

Clearly, I'm a regular LA Times reader. Lots of the content for my posts is sparked by my daily habit of cruising through those crinkly pages to find out about our world.

For a while, I've been wanting to post about the changes newspapers are undergoing. That's why something on television struck a chord with me.

I was watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last week. (See Wednesday, Sept. 24th episode here.) As he joked about how the various media approach Sarah Palin, he pretended to forget what newspapers are.

Ouch.

Stewart jibed, “You know, those things that smudge your hands. You know, you wrap old fish in them.” Aah, the bitter satire.

Unfortunately, it’s so true. The sea change that is swamping our country’s papers is sweeping them away. The Los Angeles Times I hold in my hands today is a pale, pared down version of what I read just three months ago.

Round after round of leadership change and staff cuts has reduced the scope, breadth and depth of what comes into my home each day in plain ole black and white. The push is towards the Tribune’s website and growing list of blogs. And that’s great. Maybe a change is inevitable; maybe it’s just what is called for.

Frankly, I’m surprised by the quality writing that the paper is maintaining despite the battering by economic and social forces it’s endured during the last few years.

If this interests you, Columnist Steve Lopez said it best this summer. See if his plea brings a misty tear to your eye.

Writer's Block

For the first time in a long while, blankness grabbed hold of me today as I stared at my computer screen.

I had a grant to write. It was already half-way done when I opened my document in my favorite café this morning. I read the directions for application. I reviewed the points I wanted to hit. I reread what I’d written to get a running start.

Then I sat there.

I looked around. I stared blankly out the window at the blue sky and watched cars drive by.

I realized I wasn’t writing. So I brought my focus back to typing a few words.

Next thing I knew I was watching a fly buzz against the chipped windowsill. The coffee-drinking lady reading a novel became fascinating.

I forced myself back to the page. Then I thought, maybe I should order a sandwich. I studied the overhead menu, craning my neck. Hmm, maybe I should start eating beef again. Am I getting enough iron?

One more time, I shook it off and took myself in hand.

“Look, You,” I said sternly, “just write. Let it be bad. But for God’s sake, fill this page with words and do it now. You are not allowed to eat any lunch unless you write for at least 15 minutes.”

That did it. The flow opened up and an hour later, the grant was finished. And I was hungry!

Whew.

Sing a Song of Ujjayi

That's what our teacher trainer S. said during practice yesterday. He said, "Let the breath become a lullaby that sings to everybody in the room." Isn't that a lovely image?

I completed my first full day of yoga teacher training yesterday, and it was awesome!

I'll write more when I have time, as right now I'm on my way to the second session. I'll just say that the energy and dedication in the studio was amazing. I am filled with joy at the opportunity to learn and experience yoga at a different level.

Thankfully, we did much more instruction and listening than poses. I was worried that we would be doing non-stop asanas. The focus was more on developing a philosophy and understanding of yoga and of partner work.

Away From Body

Maybe because I am so tired, during final relaxation I achieve a state of body-lessness. I feel myself floating around and that just-before-sleep feeling washes gently over me as my body’s heaviness relaxes down into my mat.

I don’t fall asleep. I remain aware and conscious, but with almost zero sensation from my body. Just pure energy of me.

It reminds me of the deep relaxation and detachment from physical senses that I’ve experienced through hypnosis. It’s very relaxing to feel myself as a disembodied consciousness.

Also very paradoxical, because usually in yoga I work to be less in my mind and more in my body. I love yoga. I never know ahead of time what I will experience.

Man, I can’t wait to start my teacher training and go even deeper.

Is There an X in Here?

The steamy swirl of my morning shower bathes me in self-reflection. As I luxuriate in the soft, fragrant lather of botanical soap and shampoo, I check in with myself. It’s a wonderful rejuvenating time when I process through emotions or set intentions for the day.

This morning, I reflected on ways my life has changed and ways it’s stayed the same. So what? I thought. It is what it is. Before it was something else. And before that it was some other thing else. And before that… And so forth.

But now it is here. I am here, in these roles and daily routines. I loved those other times and roles in my life. Now I can love these. I can simply let now be where my attention is. And thus my happiness.

In class yesterday, P. wanted us stretch our arms and legs off the corners of our mats while lying on our stomachs. She had a bit of difficulty describing that. Oh, I thought, she means make yourself into an X.

X marks the spot. X shows the spot where I am. Here.

Then I was there. Now I am here.