Monday, May 17, 2010

His Answer is... No

I won't be donating a kidney in June after all.

I finally got to meet with the Transplant Surgeon. He didn't like my weight and the look of my torso. Said he was worried about the surgical process. So he said, No.

Just like that.

No.

I met all the criteria, took all the tests, exceeded all the requirements and still No.

He said they should have sent me to him first. This is very helpful to find out after an entire year of working toward this goal.

All along, I've said to myself that if that I wouldn't force this process. If it was meant to be, the path would open up in front of me. So far, that has been the case - all green lights to go to the next stage.

I don't feel like trying to force myself past this obstacle.

I was shaken as I left the office, crying as I called my friend to tell her. I went to see my Transplant Coordinator but she was with another patient so I left a message with the receptionist. Five days later, I'm still waiting for her call. I certainly don't feel cared for, and I don't feel like my recipient was either. I feel like they let me slip through their fingers by not having clear internal communication about their requirements.

Too bad.

4 comments:

Paula said...

Dear Marie,
Wow. What a blow after havin gsuch attention on donating you kidney for so long. I'm sorry. I haven't been to your blog for a while, but sure enjoy it when I do. Be well and take care. Perhaps your hypnotist can help you cope with this shift in plan, too. Calm seems to help everything.

Anonymous said...

I've been, this whole time, hoping for you both. Now this. So very, very disappointed (peeved!) at those people for doing this to you. Ugh.

Marie said...

Yes. It was very unexpected after being so careful to be meeting the written guidelines. I've had to pull back and just drop the whole idea for my own mental health. I couldn't take another 3 or 6 month cycle of being so close if, if, if.

I've decided to focus on staying healthy, getting more fit, and seeing where my life takes me for the next few months, and then maybe I'll reapproach the idea.

Thank you for all the kind thoughts and support!!!!!

philippa_moore said...

Oh Marie. After everything you've been through, I am so sorry to hear this. I admire your strength and the way you've handled it. I think focusing on staying healthy and seeing where life takes you from here is a very sensible and kind thing to do. No more pressure on yourself babe. Savour and enjoy life for a while, and take good care of yourself. Thinking of you xx