Thursday, May 28, 2009
Finally finished the first proposal for a new client today. Now we're ready to send it out. It's kind of like submitting for publication, except the client actually gets a lot more money!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
by Derek Walcott
The fist clenched round my heart
loosens a little, and I gasp
brightness; but it tightens
again. When have I ever not loved
the pain of love? But this has moved
past love to mania. This has the strong
clench of the madman, this is
gripping the ledge of unreason, before
plunging howling into the abyss.
Hold hard then, heart. This way at least you live.
Friday, May 22, 2009
So out they'll go - spreading their wings and seeking new heights.
Since I cracked the college lit journal barrier, where else is there to go but up?
And I'm not just going up a bit. Nope. I've decided to shoot high. Fire a rocket to the literary moon. My next story "The Bones Beneath" is going straight to the New Yorker itself. Why not? What if, just what if, they actually published it? My goodness. Then I'd have to admit I was really, actually a... you know... a writer. Gee...
More likely, I'll get an awesome rejection letter from them. From the New Yorker! Writing to me!! And it can go up on my writing wall! My name, mentioned by the New Yorker. (dreamy sigh).
Reminds me of Garrison Keillor's comment: I'd been writing for the New Yorker since I was in high school. They just hadn't know it yet.
A sense of humor and fun is a definite plus in this adventure!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Ah, grants. Despite my dedicated work pace of late, I cannot keep up. I currently have 36 proposals and letters that need to go out ASAP. That's right. THIRTY SIX!
I'm so glad to have the work, but it's discouraging to devote all the time I can to it, while still juggling all the mom/household stuff, and get farther and farther behind.
I asked three friends in a row to work with me as an assistant/colleague or partner. But they all declined in their own ways. Leaving me with a burgeoning workload and an increasingly intense schedule.
I've been up since 3 am already, trying to get caught up. Jarred awake by those "memories/ that hold your life together like/glue." Do you ever wake up and start thinking and then realize, Uh Oh, I'm on the wakeful track? Caught by certain memories that spool over and over in the mind, creating their own special stories, different each time. Like carefully constructed paper airplanes arching across the clear blue sky.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I can't believe my luck. My very first submission!
It's a simple start, but who cares? I'm a published writer now. Published. Yeah, baby. I knew they'd go for all the artsy allusions I wove through the narrative.
I mean I must have beaten out handfuls of other submittors. True, I have roughly double the life experience that they do, thus more to draw from in my writing.
Still, I'm thrilled.
Next stop, The New Yorker.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Okay, maybe it wasn't that great. I remember a lot of chases, loud music, explosions and ridiculously ripped clothing. Still though it was fun to a nine year old.
Lately, I keep hearing that fabulous quote in my mind. Dr. David Banner, calm, going about his business, slightly tight-lipped, attempting to disregard the weasel-faced intrusions of the nemesis reporter, and warning him off : "Don't make me angry, Mr. McGee. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The more I look at it, the more I come to terms with the fact that there are some people you just can't count on. They may sound like friends; they may promise to care about you. But care is either there - evident in your life - or it's not. You can't do much to make somebody live up to their promises.
Ideally, you accept people for what they do offer, appreciate that, and distinguish between those worth a big investment of time and energy, and those not. And - this is the hard part for me- maybe some people you just write off as being bad people. Maybe not everybody is caring and redeemable. Maybe you just go, Huh. Sucks.
And then you stay away.
Because the world is FULL of good and loving people to spend your time with. Anybody who truly is a friend will seek you, support you, share their life with you, be warm and caring when you have a chance to talk. That's what I do with my friends. It seems to be a good standard to use.
Because of my past experiences with rejection, I have a very hard time accepting that someone would not want to be my friend. I can find myself in that monkey-mind place, whirling around in the desperation of trying to be better, friendlier, more supportive. Oh, why won't they like me? What can I do?
But, you know what? Maybe I don't really care that much. If I have to put in so much effort, maybe I should just stop. Maybe, instead of always trying to be a big person and come from a compassionate mind, I could just stay pissed off, hurt, angry, vengeful and snarky. Maybe I'm not the Buddha, and I don't have to become him right this moment today.
Then, maybe, just maybe, I can spend my energy enjoying the fabulous people I do love, focusing on the projects that make the world happier, and letting my anger be the rightful expression of emotion it should be, instead of bottling it within.
Because anyone who wouldn't realize how very worth the effort my friendship can be doesn't really understand what they're missing out on, and I'm better off without people around me who can't exhibit understanding.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
"Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news."
Friday, May 1, 2009
This practice is designed to give you a little break in your day. Just 10 minutes to relax and bring your awareness into the quietness within you that is always present and always calm. Inhale and exhale deeply but comfortably through your nose throughout each pose. If possible, be barefoot and wear loose, stretchy clothing.
Let this be playful, light, and calming.
1. Sukhasana - Seated Easy Pose
Come to all fours. On the inhale, lift your face, sway your back, relax your tummy to the floor and lift your tail. On the exhale, curl your face towards your thighs and arch your back like a cat. Move back and forth with breath.
4. Adho Mukha Svanasana- Downward Facing Dog