Saturday, March 29, 2014

March March

Here I am. At my desk.

One week of break gone, one week to go.

San Diego was beautiful as always. Even though I worked throughout our stay there, and so did not achieve quite the feeling of peace and relaxation that I was seeking, still the surroundings were gorgeous. We spent a long afternoon just hanging around Old Town, sitting here and there and drinking in the beauty of the historic setting as well as some yummy coffee beverages. We ate roasted sweet nuts and browsed the little shops.

My work progresses, progresses quite well in matter of fact. Kudos received from my new boss, and despite my feeling of being behind in everything, the results show that I am completing and submitting right on schedule.

Looking ahead now to the next batch of work for April and about to work with my new client to devise a calendar for the rest of 2014. So... fun?

Mostly fun, yes.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Perhaps More Words

I wonder if I should start writing here again.

I've been very busy lately, with lots of good things, and it has been easy to let the habit of this blog lapse under the constant pressure of work deadlines and other life demands. But I do sort of miss the regularity of hearing my own voice. My voice without constraints or deadlines, not attempting to craft the best answer to a question, but simply being here and flowing.

I like telling stories, and I like noting details that then become a tapestry of my life's experiences, crazy quilted together to make a flowing whole.

Outside the window of the hotel. the palm trees wave in a cloud-sent breeze and I could be on Tahiti or in Hawaii, instead of much closer to my home. I have the solitude of this room, with the need to meet a deadline. But I'm not alone, not really, as my family waits for me by the pool, hoping that I will shrug aside my work long enough to join them in their fun.

Childhood is fleeting, and my own daughters' is quickly receding into the past, leaving lovely young women in their place, but making me appreciate and want to maximize every moment of play with them that yet remains.

Life is fleeting, and here, from my vantage point of mid-age, I both savor my youth that is not quite entirely spent and embrace the stately older age that is quickly coming towards me, whether I am ready or not, taking me inexorably along to my future where I will be even older (and, one hopes, even wiser, even richer, even happier, and all of that). I easily see myself older, a grey haired lady with her errands and clubs, a grandmother with responsibilities, a civic figure of some sort. The plump writer of children's stories. The matronly but competent leader. And so, as best I can, I do try to enjoy today. Even as life presents a never-ending series of problems and discomforts and new issues to address, I try to remember to simply enjoy today. And to be grateful. And to smile.


Monday, March 3, 2014

Everything Happens...

Billy: Please don't say "for a reason."
Penny: I wasn't going to. Everything... happens.

Just wrote this email below to a colleague. Wanted to give her some words to boost her up and let her know that even though it's tough, she and her family are not alone. We all go through tough things sometimes, some of us for longer than others. But none of us are ever really alone. "Be kind, because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle about which you know nothing." And, in the end, everything happens.

"Personally, I am so sorry to hear that you are stressed out. And, now, in pain! :( I so totally empathize with you - I would hate being in such an up-in-the-air situation. I hope that it can resolve for you guys as quickly and optimally as possible. And that you can get settled into just the perfect situation all around!

You guys are just the sweetest family in the world and I wish you weren't having to go through this uncertainty. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. So far, I figure the best way I can help is by simply doing the work you give me as quickly and dependably as possible. But if there IS anything else...

I know that I have been through some hard times in my life where it felt like everything was shifting around me and there was no certainty. In those times, it helped me to just put a lot of faith in God and try to live moment by moment with an open, accepting attitude, waiting to see what would come next. I just tried to not obsess, to stay calm, count my blessings, and take whatever positive action I could. And ultimately everything does work out for the best and I think now my life is even better than it ever was. I hope something like that can help your family too!