Embracing Beauty

Her legs were long and brown, glowing with sun and health. They rose up from sky-high strap-sandals and disappeared into tiny denim shorts. I caught the expression on my friend’s face and followed her wistful stare to where it rested on the young woman’s legs.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I hate her.” My friend gave a dispirited sigh. “She has perfect legs, and I never will.” And just like that, jealousy and insecurity took seats at our amiable dinner.

I protested and not just from a sense of friendly obligation. In my view, my friend is unbelievably gorgeous. She has eyes that change from grey to green and a luminous, ethereal quality that gives her the air of an enchanted being. She is petite but curvy and when she smiles, she resembles an exquisite work of art, some Renaissance painting or finely carved marble goddess. To top it off, she is French and speaks with a divine, lilting accent. Men adore her.

I was appalled to realize the depth of her dismay. It is true – my friend’s legs are neither as lean nor as long as the gorgeous party girl next to us. But so what? She is who she is, and she is stunning.

I reflected on this today as I left my yoga class. During instruction, I can’t help but notice bodies of all abilities and appearances around me. I have every reason to feel jealous and insecure about my own appearance. I’m an easy 60 pounds overweight, out of shape, out of practice and less flexible and strong than I used to be. I seem to be getting older by the day. Men don’t stare after me on the street – but then they never did, at least not to my knowledge.

Again, so what? I am who I am. During class, I practice acceptance. I practice joy. I notice that every Body in the class has something it does well and something that challenges it. I tease my ego. What if I am the “worst” in the whole room? I ask it. Then what?

But I know I’m not. Because when it comes to bodies – and being— there is no better and no worse. There is only infinite variation. There is only this moment and this physical form. Each of us occupies what we inhabit.

We are not in competition with each other to be the most beautiful. There is no competition. And there can be no most beautiful. My friend does not need to feel that the romantic emptiness in her life is due to the shortness of her legs. When love is meant for her, it will come.

Actually, it is already hers. Because on this world, we are all only physical manifestations of one amazing unified source. At the core of us, we are all one. And our time spent as this particular body is so brief against the span of infinite time as to be almost momentary.

Those gorgeous legs. Celebrate that she has them. Because she is only using them for this time, for the sake of all of us, as I am only using this form, and my friend is only using her smile and her elfin eyes. It all belongs to all of us. And that is certainly no reason to feel insecure.