Happy Day of Hearts

Happy Valentine's Day, dear reader!

I'm torn here between a simple love-filled poem and a diatribe against the forced nature of Valentine sentiments. Isn't that what Valentine's Day invokes - a conflicted exploration of love and its consequences?

We went out with a close friend last night and she really brought me down about the whole holiday. My relentless celebratory bent annoyed her but eventually rubbed off so that today she's in a better mood, while her denunciations of all holidays made me feel frivolous, superficial and brainwashed.

I have a lot of good single friends, and I feel their pain. For most of them, Valentine's Day feels like yet another reminder of their biting loneliness. The inescapable red hearts, flowers, balloons, chocolates just rub their noses in the fact that somehow they have played the love game and lost. And I get that. I really do, more than most of them believe.

Even being happily married doesn't mean Valentine's is a romantic dream. For one thing, it's a lot of pressure to put on one small day. For another, there's a lot of internal competition to celebrate "big" and "fun". That's more of a recipe for petty bickering than whirling romance. I have lived through some abysmal Valentine's Days. And when you're married, it means that your partner for this coming holiday was the same one who went through that past fiasco alongside you. (Which in itself is kind of cool, but doesn't help get a good dinner reservation.)

Of course, I've enjoyed some super Valentine's Days as well. Incredible romantic dates in beautiful settings full of laughter and love. For me, that contrast is what this day comes down to. The open possibility. The chance for things to be better.

Valentine's Day is a lot less for me about the ultimate expression of romantic love with the One partner-for-life and a lot more about just Love itself.

In all its forms and glories. In its guise of forgiveness and of hope. I embrace the optimism of this day and the opportunity to connect with others. So, even though I pissed off my friend by sending her a card vaunting her specialness to me, there's no way I'm going to stop.

Because I believe in Love. And sharing it with others. And showing it to others. My partner. My children. My neighbors. My friends. That clerk in the grocery store, and that guy who wants to merge in front of me in traffic.

And all of the glittery red hearts, lace and other ridiculous things to purchase can serve as nice, tangible reminders of the Love that is all around us. Whether we have someone to hold hands with on a sunsetting beach or not.

So go ahead. Savor that chocolate. Light a candle. Slip into something silky. Pat someone's hand or give them a hug. Show yourself a little bit of love today, and then share it with the others in your life. That's what the love of Valentine's Day really means to me.

That's the love-filled greeting I want to send along to you, and to all of my single friends in particular. And accompanying that, one of my favorite poems about the incredibly enduring nature of Deep Love.

O my Luve's like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June;
O my Luve's like the melodie
That’s sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry:

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun:
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only Luve
And fare thee weel, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho’ it were ten thousand mile.

Robert Burns