The Week in Review

Quite a week, it's been quite a week. With ups and downs like a twisting, mountain road.

Monday I spent the first two hours of what should have been the school day home-tutoring my daughter in her social studies homework. Then I taught a nice yoga class and had a walk through the downtown.

Tuesday, my daughter was late for school, I fought it out with the neighbor about the tree, my daughter came home sick, and we missed my younger daughter's band concert.

Wednesday, everyone stayed home sick. I took the girls to the mall for lunch where we brought birthday presents for friends and then got pedicures to let us de-stress. I worked hard to let go of my tension and depression. Then I spent a good three hours working companionably with the elder on an essay for her English class. It's shocking and appalling to me that she has never been taught even the basics of essay writing. She refuses to let me teach her properly. But she will work with me when she has an assignment. So I'm teaching her by doing. I also taught her how to use semi-colons in a series of items. Te he. The essay came out beautifully.

Thursday was amazing. I still took my daughter to school late. She simply refuses to get ready in a timely way. But after I got her there, I went to the most amazing yoga class ever. Live music and great companions made practice a spiritual event. Then I met my former boss for a catch-up lunch. And guess what?? She wants me to come back to work for her!! She's pregnant, so she wants me back part time for six months and then she wants me to take over her entire client case load for four months while she takes a maternity leave. Yay!!! The day before I was soooo depressed about our ebbing money and now I have way more money coming in for the whole rest of the year. Ahh, how fortunes can change.

You just never know what's coming next. Barn's burned down, now I can see the moon!

And today, Friday, my daughter was late AGAIN. (That's right - the fifth time this week. I really do not know how to help her. I am at a total loss.) Then I went to a birthday brunch with friends. That was great. We got to swap all our frustrations and tips as moms of beleaguered students. Then I went to Target and Trader Joe's. Then I picked people up and made brownies. I brought home two friends for my daughter with the idea that they are all doing their late math work together. That's necessary because they are already deep into Algebra I/II quadratic equations and I really can't help them anymore. While I rocked Algebra in my own high school days, it's been a long time since I've had to run through all those steps in a trouble-shooting kind of way. So I brought the peer support in, and they've been chatting and (barely) working for the last three hours. At least, I really know her friends well. They are a delightful group of girls. I try to focus on these blessings with my daughter and not just be overwhelmed by the time management issues.

So, struggles, resolutions and good fortune -- angst and love -- that's my week.

Amazing Yoga Day

With the stress of this week, I've made an extra effort to get to my regular yoga classes. Yesterday's practice was amazing!

Talented yoga musician Jim Beckwith came to the studio and performed live music during the class. It was extraordinary. Being in the room with a whole community of people, all moving in sync, all breathing in a relaxed, flowing manner, sharing the spiritual energy of the moment was incredible. Jim's voice and quiet playing filled the room, lifting us along. My heart opened and love poured into me and then out into the world. A rush of warmth and caring projected out towards those in need.

I hadn't felt anything like that since my teacher training. Maybe, man...

Conflict Resolution

Barn's burned down
Now I can see the moon -
                                              -Masahide

I gave myself a couple of days to simmer down. Over that time, I drafted a nice letter in my head that I could drop off with my neighbor. After many, many revisions, I was ready to put it on the page. I picked out an appropriate card from my greeting card collection basket. It had the haiku above on it, which I thought was appropriate. For every bad thing that happens, there's something good to find. I skipped over the card I was tempted to use. It said, "If I keep a green bough in my heart, maybe a singing bird will come to perch on it." But that seemed sort of snarky, considering the cause of the disagreement. And also the sad fact that my neighbor now has very, very few green boughs left.

My daughter decided to bake some cookies. Since we periodically share our baked goods with one or more neighbors, that's just following an established precedent. And along with the plate of four gooey fresh, warm chocolate chip cookies, I handed over the nice card with a message saying that I hoped our tree was now trimmed enough for them, that I apologized for being so overwhelmed by my life responsibilites that I was crying sobbingly in their front yard, and that I hoped we could continue being good neighbors. So we'll see how that goes.

As I told the girls, it's not about being right. It's about being friendly and maintaining a good rapport. (Because I actually KNOW I was right. I don't care if the neighbor ever knows that or not. I know it; that's enough.) And the tree looks beautiful now. And our very kind and professional arborist got a bonus job and made some money. (Bye, money.) So it is just a blessing in disguise.

And now we can see the moon.

Free Association Because I am Bored Helping with Homework

nvnvnnvnvnvnvvnvnllllllkkkkkk mmmmm nnnnn dowowowowowowokdinedinie kinekinkkin kin are fine and kith and kine will dine in the hall of the house at nine as we gather together to bring in the feast with simmered root vegetables and hunks of roast beast we will raise a glass tall to our heroes of old and the tales that we'll tell will all shimmer like gold with the laughter and warmth of our fellowship crew come along and join us, we’ll wait just for you.

About Hell

"If you're going through hell... keep going." - Winston Churchill

There is no way I am ever, ever going to Hell. God has been waiting to deal with me for too long now. I'm sure He's looking forward to the never-ending sets of questions and comments that I have for Him. Frankly, I'm surprised I'm even still here...

Tree Trimming

Attachment to a certain outcome is such a cause of pain and suffering. The self knows this, but the mind forms attachments anyway. I have lots of opinions of how things should be. I believe I have "facts"; I think I'm "right." Despite my best efforts to be accepting of what comes, I still have preferences and opinions.

I prefer to be treated well. I prefer not to feel threatend. I believe that I am likable, and people should like me. They certainly shouldn't seethe with hostility and resentment. That is just one set of beliefs that I am currently aware of, which are swirling around in my head and making up stories that I tell myself.

Today, I am having a dispute with the next door neighbor over our trees. He is having his trees trimmed and wanted to trim mine as well. He asked me months ago if he could trim all the trees off his property. We discussed what he wanted and I agreed - mostly because I know he is terrified of trees since one fell on his house* a few years ago. I even offered to pay half, which he declined. Good thing cause we don't even remotely have that extra money.

Today, he finally got around to scheduling the trimmers. Suddenly he wants major cuts in the pepper tree in our front yard. I don't know why people don't understand this but a tree is a LIVING THING. You can't just hack pieces off of it willy-nilly and expect it to survive. Even if it lives, it will be weakened and much more likely to break, fall, or drop branches under stress (i.e. wind). A tree doesn't understand property lines; it is simply growing the best way it can to get what it needs.

The law says that you can trim a tree over your property BUT you CANNOT cause it to be DAMAGED!!! If the tree dies, you're responsible.

But I can't wait around til his chainsaw crew chops my tree, then it falls over in a year or so and then sue him. By then the damage is done.

So when he got all unreasonable, and quite rude, this morning, I rushed in and called our own tree guy. Who is a CERTIFIED ARBORIST. Who studied trees in college. Who trims these trees regularly (which only needs to be every few years for a healthy tree). So our tree guy showed up like a hero, and explained to the crew in functional Spanish that I didn't want them to touch my tree. Those poor guys were already skulking around like dogs with their tails between their legs just trying to stay out of it all. They don't want any legal trouble. They readily agreed.

My tree guy will be back in an hour or so and professionally and safely trim the tree. There goes a cool thousand dollars of cash to this cause. I have no idea where that will even come from. Guess what? The pro says we can't even trim as much as I was willing to and had already agreed to. He says it's too much. I will have him document it in writing and mail it to my neighbor. Then I will try to continue to be friendly and neighborly - I think this guy's getting crazy as he ages.

You should see the poor trees in his yard now. They look like war survivors. I won't be at all surprised if one or more of them breaks or falls within the next year. They weren't well cared for to begin with.

And I will keep trying to take deep breaths and remind myself that if one has equanimity, things always turn out to be okay in the long run. No matter what opinions I might have right now.

*****
*Now I understand why the tree was aiming at him; I'm almost sad that it missed.

Wisdom from a Friend

"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." - Buddha