Writer's Reluctance

Because it's not Block, really. It's just dragging my feet. Wishing I didn't have to write what I do, and preferring either to write something else or to go and take a nap. Or to go outside in the sunshine where all of my on-vacation family is gathered in the street with the neighbors, having nothing better to do on a Tuesday afternoon than shoot-the-breeze. Apparently we're a neighborhood filled with people working on flexible schedules!

But I do have to write.

This grant for this organization. It's my first draft, and it's every bit as daunting as sitting down to write a 15 page paper for a class without having done enough research or having a clear topic. Which is pretty much how I always used to write my papers and I made it through college just fine. Got myself all the way to here. Where ironically I use pretty much the same process.

I don't honestly know which I prefer - the grade or the pay. Money is useful and it makes me a "professional." But the clean clarity of that letter on the front page of your writing was so crisp and final. You either did it well or you didn't, and it was over. No one was counting on your description of their work to get them the money that they need to stay in business.

Aarrgghh.

Part of the distraction is sitting right here, asking me charming questions about renting her favorite movies from Blockbuster and telling me what her Dad is doing (standing out front, I know that already.) Yes, both kids and husband are on Spring Break, and every time I come close to creating a mood of concentration or flow, someone pops in to ask me something or to complain. My youngest even managed to get bitten by one of our dogs - all a mistake and it didn't break the skin - but still enough drama that I had to leave the keyboard. When they are all at school, I am often lonely, but it IS deliciously quiet and still here in the house.

This might be about the best I can do - for now.