Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Difficult Decisions

I haven't been to my favorite park in months. The weather outside is finally bearable, below the searing 100 degree days that have trapped me indoors. It's actually a lovely day.

I'm taking my blanket and my book to the park. I'm going to take a long walk. I'm going to pray and ask God for guidance. I'm going to let the fresh air and exercise soothe me. I'll dust off my Tarot Cards and use them as well, tapping in to my intuition.

When the answers come, I will give them time. Time to sit within me and be sure that they are the true answers from the purest depths of being. Perhaps a month of sitting with this possibility.

But if the deepest answer is to follow social norms, that is what I will do.

David himself has shown me that it is fair to put yourself ahead of any old relationship promises, despite your deepest intentions. Sometimes, life requires moving ahead in a ruthless way, focusing on your own needs first. Right? That's all that's happening, right?

Be careful what you model by example. I am paying attention as I look for ways to free myself from these struggles.

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