What the #$@%?

Lately my life has been absolutely perfect and completely fucked up at the same time. Which makes for a very confusing experience. I'm constantly flipping the metaphoric coin and waiting to see which side comes up. But it really doesn't matter, because it's just going to flip again, and then the other side will show.

And if I don't want to deal with that, I simply wait and it flips itself back. Really.

Sometimes I flip, sometimes I just stand back and watch the flipping happen for me. Depends on if I want to enjoy the illusion of being in control, or if I want to just be detached. Sorry, I'm feeling bitter today.

I saw an amazing book when I was browsing through Borders earlier. (See what I mean? What kind of life is bad that includes browsing through the bookstore as part of the day's activities?)

I think the title was A Stroke of Insight and the author's last name might have been Taylor, but I didn't write that down and it's already gone from my cluttered mind. What remains, however, is the point of the book. Dr. Taylor was already an accomplished Neuroanatomist, deeply involved in studying the brain, when she suffered a disabling stroke at the age of 37. Her brother's lifelong struggle with schizophrenia had led her into brain research and an active involvement in the Mental Illness Movement that included serving on the National Board of NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness).

So a completely debilitating stroke that robs the ability to walk, talk, move, and more is a bad thing, right? Turns out, not so much. Turns out that Dr. Taylor thinks it's the best thing that ever could have happened to her. Because of her extensive training and background, she was able to experience the effects on her cognition from the inside, and she was able to completely recover her lost function.

And now, write the story so that others can learn from her insights.

Who would think that a tragedy would be a blessing? Or maybe I should ask that same question in riddle form: When is a tragedy truly a tragedy?

Answer: When you don't do the work to transform it into something wonderful.

Thus, the connection to my own life.