Friday, July 1, 2011


A former friend got back in touch with my husband and me this week. It was out of the blue and completely unexpected. Perhaps he wanted to pick back up on old times. Perhaps move into a good future. But I find that our schedule can’t match his; my husband and I need some time to process our feelings. There is no rush to resume anything, especially anything that brings conflict.

We were friends through some extremely difficult periods in all our lives. Just hearing from him brought back some of those memories. It also cemented our certainty that we never want to go through that kind of turmoil again - ever.

Although we parted on affable terms, I have mixed emotions about our friendship. I’m all for being amiable. However, I’ve been enjoying my life just fine by wishing him well at a distance and not having to deal with any issues. My life is filled with good, healthy friendships – almost more than I have time for – and yet there is infinite room for true friends. Friends that bring kindness, compassion, understanding, sharing and new points of view to my days. (And maybe a good bottle of wine!) This friendship could be rich in all of those; he has so much to offer. On the other hand, I have no time to give to disruptive or negative influences. I simply have too much good stuff going on for that.

Part of my mixed feelings arise from finding that my friend is sad. I had hoped that things were going well for him these last few years. That they haven’t been is disheartening. When he asked me if I have been happy, I answered yes. He didn’t quite believe me; I realized that because he has been so unhappy it’s hard for him. But I have been very happy.

I am happy.

In fact, my friends have been coming to me lately for tips on contentment. They say that I seem so balanced and at peace. And why wouldn’t I be? I truly have everything I have ever wanted. A secure home, a loving marriage, beautiful, wondrous children, daily friendships, and a budding writing career. Patching things up with this friend could be the icing on the cake.

The pink glittering icing.

Today, my family spent the day at the mall. We had an amazing lunch at Nordstrom CafĂ©. My daughters and I go there periodically, for a girls’ day out treat. But today was even better, because my husband is on vacation and he was able to join us. We laughed our way through salads and sandwiches amid the tinkling glassware. The room is lush with rich wood tables and gilt candelabras. Light pours from the golden dome in the center of the ceiling.

For dessert, I tried the Pink Champagne Cake. A tower of frosted confection with cake so light and ethereal, it practically captured bubbles within it. The burst of sugar and wine across my tongue brought tears of joy to my eyes at the first taste. And the beauty of it! White layers mounded with champagne icing, covered over with swirls of fairy pink sparkle.

My laughing family, a day out together, work waiting at home, and the most delicious, glamorous cake I’ve ever eaten. Anyone who can understand the joy I feel at this is welcome to be our friend

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