Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valentine's Day Today...

But, first, there is quite a lot of work to get done. So it's mostly just Thursday right now.

I'm up to my elbows in refinancing our home, and, frankly, it's just making my head hurt. There's so many details to take care of, and the fine print to check and double check. So far, the documents have errors on them, and the lender hasn't corrected those yet. So I can't sign the initial forms and move us along. In the meantime, I have to find about 12 different documents here that they'll need. I am not looking forward to that. My system of organization for months at a time is to dump all the important paid bills and receipts into a basket. So I mostly know where everything is, but if I have to go through it all anyway then I might as well sort it all out and file it properly. And clean out the old stuff from the files.

And that only makes me realize that I might as well do the taxes in the next few weeks. As long as I'm moving paperwork around anyway.

See how it goes? You start off with the best intentions on ONE project. Just one thing you need to take care of. Next thing you know, hours and hours of your time has been committed to financial matters. Yuck.

Can't I just go back to ignoring it all?

I'm pretty much set for Valentine's celebrating. We've tended towards the low key in the last few years. My husband does horribly when he perceives any pressure or judgment so lowered expectations are better than big fights. I'll do a light clean of the house this afternoon, and I have some decorations to put up that we've accumulated over the years. I have little gifts for S and the girls, and we'll cook a nice dinner at home instead of battling any crowds. Often we go out of town to celebrate this weekend, but this year my brother's family has decided that they will visit and stay with us. So they'll arrive late tonight and be here til Tuesday. I'm really looking forward to seeing my niece and nephew again. They are 3 and 1 years old - very fun ages. Especially in small doses!

But I am a bit worried that I won't have as much work time available. I woke up at 4 am and started going over and over everything I have to do in the next few days. That's not like me. Normally I sleep very well. Then I realized that I never calmed my brain down last night with the sedation of television. We couldn't get the Wii to work, so there was no soothing balm of narrative flow for my thoughts. Geez. I think I am actually addicted. I don't watch a lot of tv, but I do like to watch to let the day go.

I don't care what we watch as long as it's not disturbing and there's a story. So lately we've been working our way through all the seasons of Monk. The girls LOVE it. I'm not keen on the actual murders, but I love the rest of the story. I think they both feel validated by his careful attention to detail, and his differentness. Also, I think my cleaning fanatic, B, actually watches to get tips on how to clean better! She's got that little streak of OCD that makes her tidy compulsively. It's really not such a bad trait to have in a child, as she is a big help around the house!

Things have been going better with her older sister too. I finally got wise and instituted a tangible system of rewards for her. All brains, but ADHD brains in particular, respond well to immediate gratification after achievement. So a couple of days ago, I went to the craft store and bought a big bag of plastic gems. Now instead of yelling at her constantly to do this or that, I reward her with a gem when she does something. She gets a red one for being ready to leave for school on time, and green ones for her afternoon chores. The green ones turn into allowance on Saturdays. The red ones she can cash in to do fun things with her friends on weekends. It's very concrete. If she has five red gems, AND the activity is okay with us, then she can go. If she doesn't, then she can't. She's starting to get invited to stuff every weekend, so I think it's going to be a good motivator. All I know is that she's been on time the last few days.

Plus the gems are actually very pretty. Even I find them motivating! Gosh. I wish somebody did follow me around and give me a little token every time I did something well. Wouldn't that much attention and appreciation be great!!

Instead, we have to be all adult, and just dredge up our own internal motivation. Or create our own little rewards. Like favorite tv shows. Or ice cream cones. Hot lattes. Walks in the park. Or this blog. :)

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