Monday

Sigh.

A full week ahead. Chopped up already into little blocks of responsibilities and obligations. I hope there will be some time to flow and feel smooth.

We are all just chugging along, doing the best we can, right where we are today. I've been anxious a lot lately, with all the repair changes unsettling me around my home.

Been dealing with that by reminding myself to just be in the moment. I only feel anxious when I find myself either trying to be too far ahead in time, or trying to be overly in-control of what will happen next. The painter really bugs me. We are having some dispute over his work. I had an opportunity last night - through text messages - to move into more conflict with him. Instead, I took a long breath, thought for a few minutes, and consciously let go of caring about any outcomes.

This morning, I approached him with a whatever-needs-to-happen attitude, however-much-it-costs. That gave him space to be mellow so now we have a good agreement and no bad feelings. It just wasn't worth it to me to fight.

He should finish tomorrow and I'll be glad to have some space back. There has been someone extra at my house every day except yesterday for the last two weeks. I find that draining.

The older I get, the less tolerance I have for conflict. People are too important to be harsh with them. I hope everybody gets to have a good day today. I get to teach yoga - which should be calming and rewarding - and be with my daughters, and even write.

Oh, I sent out THREE stories last week. One was inspired by a friend, so I hope Clarkesworld publishes it. If that one comes through, I'm buying a new dishwasher -- I'm sick of washing every dish by hand. Still, though, seems like things are going okay. Time, time and more time and just being mellow.

No conflicts.

Sigh.