Tuesday, March 12, 2013

This is Why I Don't Even Try to Work on Tuesdays Anymore

Big, deep breath. It’s been another day, with its own challenges.

My fourteen year old is turning out to be a high-need child. Who knew?

I wake her up each morning at 7:00 am. Then I check on her about every 5 minutes to be sure she’s still awake and getting dressed. This morning, at 7:50 am, which is the last possible minute to leave and still be on time, I opened the door of her room to find her standing, in tears, with a look of dejected confusion on her face, still wearing her pajamas.

Her room is such a mess that she couldn’t find something she wanted to wear. All the clothes on the floor and in the closet were in the way of her finding clothes.

What can I do?

I can start screaming or I can choose to be as calm but firm as possible. Okay, find something and get dressed. She just literally gets stuck like that periodically.

Ultimately, I took her along to her sister’s orthodontist appointment. Her treatment ended last year, but after the first month, she forgot/refused to wear her retainers. So her teeth have started to move out of place. Kind man that he is, the orthodontist fit her into the day’s schedule; he adjusted her retainers and jammed them into her mouth. As he lectured her, he said that it would hurt for a few days but that if she starts wearing them now, she won’t have to go back into braces. So now I have to monitor that more carefully as well.

I feel like I spend about 12 hours each day taking care of J’s needs. And the rest on everyone else. Later today, an appraiser is coming back out to complete paperwork. The refinance is basically done. With luck, we can sign everything before the weekend. That will be one less thing I have to hassle with. I’m sure the grumpy loan processor at Wells Fargo is not going to enjoy being the spurned party. But that’s too bad. The other lender got everything done first, and they were much more polite too. I wanted to stay with Wells Fargo, but they made very little effort to keep our business. So that’s the way it has to be.

I’ve been doing a lot of questioning lately, a lot of reassessment of my life choices. Running into such a bitter ex really shook me up; it made me question my judgment. Like, how could I ever have been so into him? Was he a different person then? Was I just deluding myself? But why? Did he actively manipulate me? How did I not see that? All those kinds of self searches.

I know that I’m being as honorable as I can. At the end of the day, I demonstrate loyalty, and caring, and dedication, and persistence. Those are qualities I like having. Now if I can just keep all these little daily challenges in perspective...

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