A friend once told me that she had broken up with her longterm boyfriend because the sex with him had become banal. That's the word she used, "banal." Isn't that a great usage? Next we'll be talking about the world-weary ennui of urban living.
Anyway, she went on. "If the sex life is boring, I'm out of there." At the time, I agreed supportively, the way girlfriends do. But something nagged at me.
Later, I figured it out. She was pinning the weight of their poor quality interactions on him exclusively. But two people are involved in relationships, and especially sex - well, commonly ;). If the sex was banal, wasn't that actually a reflection on her as well? In my experience, it's pretty darn easy to spice up a routine sex life. In fact, it's one of the things that one person can VERY successfully bring into a relationship. Who says no to more spice??
I just know that even when my own marriage was having its difficulties, we still never had less than good sex, and usually GREAT sex, and often FANTASTIC sex. If you like sex, it's just not that hard to enjoy it - and to be a bit creative.
In the long view, I actually feel a bit sorry for my friend now. We haven't talked juicy girl talk recently. But I can't help wondering how her hunt for the perfect relationship with exciting sex is going.
Or whether she isn't bringing her own problems along with her.
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