Friday, April 6, 2012

The First Week of April

This week has been an uphill slog. Actually, even an uphill slog sounds a bit appealing. At least it would be physical exertion, something I am sorely lacking of late. If I don't get my schedule together and get regular yoga back into my life, I'm going to fade away.

With everybody back at school, I have spent every day this week working from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. If I'm not cooking then I'm picking someone up or dropping them off. If I'm not busy with errands, then I'm enjoying "quiet time" sitting at my computer and working. And I've had to squeeze in all the extra work of preparing for Easter too, making each day this week a mix of shopping and school and work.

I had a big meeting yesterday that took almost six hours of the day, and then came home to where I had left dinner cooking and had pre-boiled the eggs to squeeze in a family dinner and eggdyeing with my parents. Fell into bed with three proposals unwritten.

Feeling the buildup of work that I want to finish but can't quite get to really gets to me. A-ha, you say. So why aren't you working now? Well, in a way, I am. I'm switching gears to quiet, thinking workmode. I made a list this morning and it's not as bad as I feared. Yes, I do have eight proposals to complete. But only three of them were due last week, so I'll get those done tonight. The rest were due today, but I'm sure by Monday will be fine.

So if I can relax... and just let it flow... I'll catch up and start next week fresh.

I really do feel run down. I injured my back again this week, but couldn't really slow down for the pain, so just pushed through it. Yesterday and today, the anxiety is making my stomach hurt. This is how out of sorts I feel: I was out working at CBTL and I wanted to come home instead. It was too loud and hectic; all the people nearby me were projecting anxious, hyper-work energy. I actually craved silence and being alone.

Now I'm at my peaceful ocean of a desk, floating in its sea-green space. A breeze is moving the tree outside my window and the chimes are twisting in the currents. It is much more peaceful.

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