Thursday, April 19, 2012

Nice Enough

It's a nice day. Uneventful. Lightly productive and pleasant to live through.

I'm trying to give myself some calm and space to process through this amazing opportunity opening up before me. I don't want to be over -reactive; I kind of want to stay together enough that I feel some control of the energy going on, instead of just having it course through me and go off in its own directions.

Yes, that is one way to move things around in life, but that kind of random transformation hasn't always served me in the past. Whatever. Maybe that makes sense to you, maybe not, but I kinda know what I mean.

So, I am being calm and breathing. I am reflecting before acting, neither procrastinating nor rushing in, but just being calm. I have made some progress in all areas of my life.

Today, so far, I've mostly worked. I've been putting the event planning on the back burner while I write proposals, so today has been spent doing physical errands for the event. Visiting funders. Picking up mail. Checking out the wifi at the event location. Running around through a sunny day in a cute little town is a very nice break from sitting at a desk. I was texting with my friend and she's quite jealous.

The long drive down the freeway was a nice space to clear my head. Meanwhile, there's part of my brain working on the different things I'll be writing next; part is planning the weekend; and part is considering all the best people to contact and all the ways to get support for my coming judgment. But I feel pretty good about it. Whereas in the past, there was always this panicky, fear feeling, now I feel like even if I didn't do or get anything else, that I would fly through this anyway on my own merits.

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