God, I'm buzzy right now.
I am so excited about my news from yesterday. Already I am overwhelmed with the new list of things I'll want to do, ways to make the strongest case possible. All things to get done in addition to the fairly busy workload I already had.
But worth the effort. So worth it.
I couldn't sleep well last night. When I awoke at 2:30 am and realized that I was fully alert, I gave up trying to fall asleep. The beauty of my job is I can do it anywhere, any time. So I put those hours to use and finished up two more proposals. Then crashed back asleep just in time to be totally groggy for the morning routines. My 10 year old had to wake me up!!! (Repeatedly. And make the lunches. And cook breakfast. She is AWESOME!)
I've spent the morning dividing my time between the usual errands of tidying, cooking, and Target, and getting some work done, and talking to friends about this exciting development.
I am so joyous and hopeful. And also scared of getting my hopes up too high. Having to talk about it all of course brings back difficult memories. And then I just am on this huge energetic surge. It just feels incredible. It's like forces are aligning together to work this good act in my life. I've felt it coming too.
I reached out to a few old friends this week, and I went to a real, proper yoga class as a student for the first time in months. The energy that opened up is scary almost.
And I am just full of hope. Awash with love for the whole world and such a profound sense of gratitude. It feels like doors are opening. It feels like new things are being attained. I am so appreciative. Really. Thanks. Everything does feel like it is balancing, and that it is balancing in a loving, positive, future-oriented way.
We might not always get the past we wanted to have, but sometimes, we can still have something wonderful and warm and solid in the future.