Friday, May 18, 2012

Alone At Last...

It is silent in my house, and it is blissful. Well, almost silent. Only soft little noises wrap around me -- the snuffling of our guinea pigs, branches brushing each other in the breeze, the ring of the wind chimes.

I was supposed to be on a date with my husband. It's the weekend of three birthday parties in four days. When I found out the girls were sleeping at their friend's tonight, I imagined us out on a nice long date. Finally, a movie in a theatre. Maybe dinner. We would finally have privacy to have sex while we're both awake!

But it has been such a long, long week for me. For S, too. I was up past midnight last night, and I have dragged all day. When his friend invited S to a birthday bbq (yes, party #4) that downgraded to just a beer in the backyard, I encouraged him to go. It's good for S to get out with the guys. And I realized that I could have a girls-night-in.

I dumped my kids as fast as I could and got back to my kitchen. With today's clothes crumpled in the hamper, I have on my soft fleecy sleep pants and my stretchy black tank top. A plate of the best snacks is next to me -- cherries, cheese, mulberries, gourmet chips -- and condensation beads my chilled glass of white zinfandel. And I'm writing. Aaaahhhhhh......

So calm... I don't have to go anywhere or do anything. I don't have to watch the time. I don't have to pick anyone up. I'm surprised how good it feels to be solitary. Not because I don't love having my family around - I do, very much -- but just because I don't have to be responsible for anyone or anything. So nice.

I'm going to cue up old episodes of Mad Men, my new guilty pleasure, and curl up on the couch, and read, and eat leftover pizza, and later, popcorn.  In a few hours, S will be home, and we'll try to at least get to one of the activities we anticipated.

And tomorrow we'll have a real, proper date. In public with a movie (maybe Avengers) and awakeness and driving and all.

But for now... I am last...

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