Flow

I feel impatient with my day today. It's 1:30 and I haven't yet started "to work."

And yet that's because I have been involved with things that are both important and involving. I've accomplished dozens of small tasks already today. I fear I'm not giving myself enough credit for them.

Among the tasks: breakfast, lunch, dishes, trash, drop off, pick up, drop off (again), check on polling place, clear daughter's absences, ortho appt, lunch date, texting sick friend, texting other friends, dinner plans for tomorrow, registered for grant training, called about refinance, and so on.

The best thing I've done by far today is pick my daughter up from school and take her to get her second and final set of braces. Another two years, another 22 payments, and our kids are done. The newer car we probably should have bought by nowis in their mouths, but I think it's worth it. A lifelong investment in beauty and health for their best interests matters more than daily transport. Also, even though I have tons of things to do, I made time to take her out for a special lunch before I took her back. You're only 11 once, and you only get braces once, and I will always, ALWAYS have a long list of things waiting for me to do them. That time together is precious and my first priority.

I've been feeling a bit blue lately, and confused. I know it's from having so much on my mind. It's become clear to me as I work with this refinance process - which is looking very dubious right now - that while I may have attained legal freedom, I still am not free financially. Au contraire, I am very, very expensive! (Get it, it's a finance pun. Ah hahahaha...) I meant, I am quite committed. We are in almost over our heads with costs and debts, and I will have to work very, very hard in the next few years if I want to turn that around. Ah well. One hurdle at a time. At least now I'm free to find better work options. And there are a few bright lights on the horizon...

My comments just came back from my writing teacher on yesterday's memoir submission. I think I'll read them and (hopefully) encourage myself. Good day.