Thursday, November 8, 2012


An interesting day so far.

I went out with a good friend last night, more for the sake of putting the effort into nurturing the friendship than from a real need to be out. Since she lives 100 miles away, it meant driving 50 miles through the dark to meet for dinner, then 50 miles back later than my usual bedtime. I was tired, but glad to see her. But sad that her life isn't better. It felt weird to drive alone at night. I am hardly ever alone. It's odd for me to know that this is how some people's lives are all the time. I try to imagine that, but it's hard for me. I'm sure it gets tiresome and lonely, but sometimes it seems sort of restful from my point of view.

Anyway, because of the late night (no alcohol though), I was dragging this morning. I really didn't want to go to the Grant training I had signed up for. I wanted to go back to sleep. Or maybe do laundry. But I didn't. I got dressed up and then I drove 30 miles and found the location.

Then I sat in my car. And tried to convince myself to go in. A little voice in my head said, You could just turn around and go home. It's not too late!

A more sensible voice said, Well, if you were going to do that, you should have just stayed home. It's silly to waste an hour of driving time.

I sat there with my eyes closed. For a few more minutes, I breathed deeply and gathered my strength. Then I pushed myself forward and went into the class.

A turning point.

Experience has taught me that usually, even if I don't want to do things for my own good, they reap rewards and later I am glad that I made the effort. It's all part of my strategy for making my own luck. Creating opportunities in my life by showing up ready for them.

And I think I probably did. The training itself wasn't very good. The presenter was nice but disorganized. I picked up a few tips that made it worth my time. More important though, is that it gave me another opportunity to network. I volunteered to help write grants for a nonprofit that helps nonprofits. It will give me experience, exposure, more contacts. Also, with any luck and skill, it will lead to them paying me over the long run.

All part of making more business for myself. Like I said, usually you have to get out and make your luck.

I think I'll write about that moment in the car as a turning point for my memoir assignment this week. I have the feeling I will look back on it and know that it was yet another moment when my life slightly altered its course. The turning point that is still in progress.

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