Aah, Aah, Aah, Aah...

Life is a funny business. I know I should be sitting here, working. I know it.

I just can't get myself started well.

I've compromised so far today. I'm not exactly working at grants, but I'm not really messing around either. I've been sorting bills and shopping for mortgages and sending emails and doing generally useful stuff that's not really just wasting time or just plain out having fun and lounging around with a book/tv show.

I've been off my game ever since my hours got cut. I really liked having someone to work with/for. I know I need to just pick myself up and dust myself off and get going. I can be independent, I can achieve, I can be successful and winning at my own business. And I'm going to be... Tomorrow.

Bleah. My motivation's not there. On the other hand, maybe I am diversifying. I have been educating myself about children's publishing and grant writing. And shopping. My sister in law loved the first batch of clothes, even the ones that don't fit perfectly. She enjoyed it so much that I am seriously wondering if I could start my own personal shopping business to compliment my writing. Sort of split my days between sitting and shopping. It's what I usually do anyway! And I have two born helpers for my work force. I might make up some flyers and let her hand them out to her friends and see if I get any results.

My future plan looks something like this:
Age 44 - 47 - Flourish and grow as a grant writer, saving enough income to pay off house and fund first years of college for kids. Write and publish series of children's books, ditto the money. Get both girls into high school.

Age 47-57 - Work full-time for a good income, devoting all of it to savings and college. Continue writing for fun/publication.

Age 57-70 - Kids out of college and successful in their own lives. Continue working in career started at 47. Save for retirement, but enjoy the benefits of a good life with travel and leisure time, visits with girls, etc.

70-95 - Retirement - Travel, devote time to family and grandchildren, write, volunteer, continue career on scaled down basis - writing? teaching?

After so many years of not having any sort of "Five Year Plan" it's really nice to see a flexible structure with certain goals opening up in front of me. Here's the challenge though. Life has a way of throwing twists into the path when you least expect them. Hmmmm...