Well... I finally talked with my boss. The news isn't good... she had half of her client workload leave unexpectedly last month so she has no more work to channel to me. Eek.
That's income I count on just to make our basic expenses. I don't want to go without that for very long.
Still though, it sort of feels like the news IS good. It feels like a challenge. It feels like new possibilites. She said that she loves my work and our working arrangement, and if things pick up, we would resume. So I think it is only a matter of helping her to get more work for her business. It might even be an opportunity for me to take on a fuller role in the business. We definitely need more marketing and approach of clients. We can also diversify a bit into more types of nonprofit assistance if she likes.
I think it's just a matter of continuing to work hard at it, without the money for now, with the idea that the money will come later. It is already on its way to us.
It's interesting. I've already been re-evaluating my work life and what I want to do from here. I had actually started researching nonprofit positions and other options as well. So this may be a springboard into a slightly different worklife. Also I do have several writing projects on tap that could use more of my time; I don't mind devoting some months there.
This doesn't feel unexpected to me, and it doesn't feel devastating. It feels right, like it is the next thing that needs to happen in a line of good changes happening in my life.