Another morning. Another day up and into my tasks. The food/kitchen/driving part of my morning is successfully completed.
Now I sit at my screen and wrestle thoughts into words.
It's a rather lovely morning, overcast, cool and fresh. A nice break from the heat that has gone on and on the last few weeks. It's my kind of day. Today, I will take responsibility to fill myself up. To cheer myself and find reasons to be content. To stay in balance. To let negative energy and problems seep by me and past me while I radiate love and warmth.
I'm looking forward to yoga. I might get Indian food again for lunch. That was yummy and I particularly liked their spiced hot tea. (Spiced and spicy are different aren't they? I wrote spicy first, but then I changed it. You know what Twain said: The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.)
I might run errands. I might type in a cafe. I might just come home and listen to my quiet house. Sit in calm and watch tv and work. Tonight will be busy with my daughter's back to school night. That's a mad dash to seven classes in an hour. The whole thing is hectic and rushed; I'm not looking forward to it. (See the semi-colon - masterful control, that's what I'm displaying!) It will be good to see her teachers and put faces to their names but that's about all we'll get out of it. There's no time to be personal or really make connections. For the first time, I understand why parents used to opt out of participation in school events. Even I don't want to go. But I know that I have to -- it's just required to meet my standards for myself.
Being the open and talkative person that I am, I've been talking to my daughters about my friend's daughter and how we can help her and also about drug use in general. It never hurts to talk, and I want them to be very clear about how I feel about drugs and my own reasons for not using them.
So in the car on the way to school today, I was being my usual self, babbling away and making odd jokes while J rolled her eyes.
"You see," I said, "That's why you can never use drugs. All these comments from me are floating around in your head. If you use drugs, they'll probably just all come out and you will have nonstop hours of all my jokes."
"Mom, are you threatening me?" J was laughing.
"No, I'm just telling you. You don't necessarily want to disable your thinking mind. There's a reason why we keep the subconcious under the control of the conscious!"