Today ends my first cycle of mindful giving. I have to say that mostly I have enjoyed the giving very much. Some days it was a bit of a challenge; some days arranged the gifts almost by themselves with very little effort from me.
I've learned a few things from this experience. One thing that I confirmed is how easily giving comes to me. I give so habitually to friends and family that often I had to discount small gifts or notice that I had given multiple things in one day. Sometimes I give so much that it is easy for me to get a bit drained. I'm more mindful of that now as well, and try to keep it in balance.
Usually I did enjoy this giving, but some days I felt compelled. It sometimes seemed like another thing to take care of, especially writing up an entry about it each day. I learned that cash, small items, and time are very easy for me to give. So is emotional support. Phone calls and panhandlers are more difficult for me.
The timing of this giving conincided with a significant period of preparation in my life for a big change. I noticed that right away, and decided to make it part of the intention. I did not undertake this giving practice in an attempt to prove that I am a good or generous person, or in an attempt to "bribe" the Universe into giving me back what I want in return. It doesn't work that way.
I did however undertake this Giving with the idea that I was consciously channeling Energy. And that the Energy flow that I could create would help to prepare me for the attainment of my goals. And I believe that that is true. The Energy I have begun to feel over this last month has been immense and inspiring. I have greatly enjoyed tapping into it and releasing it from the places where it was blocked within me by fears, pains, and other obstacles.
I noticed on my walk tonight that the moon is just attaining fullness. Another sign of building positive energy and another sign that everything is moving along in a positive flow. Oh, and did I mention that I experienced a freak storm today? Intense wind, raindrops heavy and silver like quarters falling through a sunny sky to drench me in a cleansing flow of silver-gilded water. It was over as fast as it started, located only in the parking lot where I stood, and could not have been more magical. This giving is a part of all that.
I plan to do this giving again. I will wait a while, have a fallow period and rest, where I give without effort or planning. Then I would like to start again, when the time feels right. I already have ideas of things that I didn't work into my giving this time: I'd like to donate blood; I'd like to give to an organization that provides school supplies to foster children; I'd like to make a microloan through Kiva.org. I might do a cycle where I give only to strangers, forcing me to broaden outside of my habitual giving.
We'll see, won't we? We'll just see how it goes next.