I've been giving with intention and attention for just over a week. Yesterday, I felt like I got a concrete return from life. My daughters went to gymnastics yesterday and I remembered that I needed to pay for August's classes. Last month, we paid for two sessions per week, but the girls wound up never using the extra ones. So, the secretary told me, Oh don't worry about it. We'll credit you $80, just pay the other $28.
That was a nice surprise for the month's accounts. When I thought about it, I think that is just about the amount I have given to others so far. $35 for B's school, $25 for her teacher, $7 to the labyrinth, and $10 for J's rallies. That's $77 so far, right? So I'm actually just a bit ahead.
Although I just passed a young man on the street playing a jaunty tune on his guitar and singing along very well. So I gave him $2.
I'm sitting in the first cafe I ever used to work in, way back in the day, in what seems like ages ago. I didn't realize how much my habits had shifted, so it's been a LONG time since I've been here. I went to my first yoga class in quite a few months as well, just up the street from here. I knew it had been a long time since I strolled the downtown when the church bell started chiming and I was surprised. Then I remembered, Oh yeah, I used to hear that all the time, marking out the hours! It's a pretty irony that one of my favorite views is of the police station. But it's a lovely and graceful building.
Yoga was fabulous! Even though I don't go often, there's a good bond between the teacher and me. J is just an awesome person and she has a great, clean, loving energy that infuses her classes. During final relaxation, she came to me and leaned into hanging forward fold, lovingly resting her hands on the tops of my feet. I stayed still and relaxed, letting my breathing open more deeply. Then I began to open my energy to her, receiving her warmth and sending back green-white energy in return. I envisioned the energy flowing back and forth between us, sweeping through our bodies, and releasing any tension or stress, bringing pure healing with its motion. J stayed for a long, long while, the two of us breathing and opening together.
At the end, I thanked her and gave her a hug. "I didn't want to leave," she said. "I just really liked your feet!"
(I know that sounds weird here, but really it was very sweet and sincere.)
"Well, I was sending you energy," I replied.
"Oh, but that was a gift for you," J said. "You didn't have to give me anything."
"It's the same thing," I said. We both nodded.
Often, I wish there was more I could give to people. Ahh, the list I can imagine stretches on and on: attention, conversation, hugs, meals, backrubs, coffee, books, time, jokes, new clothing, sleep tips, meditation tips, relationship tips -- and I DO give those things to my friends, a little at a time, bit by bit as they are ready to accept or as they feel a need. When it's not practical, I content myself with sending good thoughts and positive energy. Which is tangible and very important, and which I firmly believe makes a difference.